This took a really long time for me to figure out....wow i havent been on xanga in forever.

times are changing...growing. man i wish things were like they used to be.

but they arent.

why?...no one will everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr know

I feel really bad because like XANGA is disappearing. I DONT WANT IT TO FUCKING DISAPPEAR! I LIKE XANGA! man....dude. yo dude.

:[[

Lets bring it back yo.

Hi everyone. Ill try and make this as short as possible...

School: is aight. IPC is still pretty easy, English 3 is awesome, French 2 is still boring but i am going to try and keep my grade up. Yearbook is...uneventful. US History is boring. Its really hard to stay awake in that class but it is a required credit. FCSCP is whoa boring. i hate the class just because it is so boring. Newspaper is cool. We just got out the second newspaper. See my centerspread?

Family: mom is aight, dad is aight, sister is dumbass, aunts are aight, uncles are aight. lmao. shorty is pimping.

Keith and I got back together as of yesterday. We mostly worked things out and i think we might be able to make it. However, i dont get to talk to him basically till sunday because his friend is coming into town and i think he is a jackass. lol. so yeah.  WE ARE NOT BACK TOGETHER. I GIVE UP.

UM! other than that...i dunno. any questions?

Broken in two pieces.

Current mood: Broken

Ya know how when your life seems to be going really good? and then -BAM- its like you dont deserve whats been happening. I feel like that currently. I always thought before that i didnt deserve things. Like, everytime my life sort of went okay something bad happened. Its kind of like how my life words. a big circle.

Good

 Bad                       Bad

Okay

There is a little visual for ya i suppose. See how it is in a circle? thats how my life is. It is in a very circular format. I hate it. I thought maybe that when my life starting going good that i deserved it. And dammit i do deserve it. I want a good life. But apparently i dont deserve it. This is why i dont believe in God. How could He let things like this happen? This has absolutly nothing to do with free-will, so if there really was a God how could he let something like this continuly happen in a persons life. {thats rethorical.}

My heart hurts. It feels like a throbbing deep inside my heart and i dont know how to make it stop. Let your tears come.  Let them water your soul.  ~Eileen Mayhew I just cant do this. My tears wont come but it seems that if they do, it wont help. I dont want to cry. I want to push my hurt aside and just move on in my life. Thats the easy route. Life does not equal easy.

The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep.  ~Henry Maudsley